I realised that no one I actually care about is staring, making judgments, or in disgust, other than myself. My friends and family accept me for who I am, not how many spots I have. I need to learn to do the same.
I have apologised so many times to so many different people.
Even makeup staff in beauty shops when having my makeup done. I have apologised to people in restaurants because they have to eat with me sitting at the table. The list is so long, anyone that has had to be around me whilst I have suffered with acne I have probably apologised to.
I don't really want to relive some of the comments from the past, because I'm moving on following my own rules now. But every time somebody points out your “flaws”, it hurts, it really really hurts. This then led to an apology for my face, because I thought it was disgusting if someone is going to tell me it is. I would then believe and think it is.
Society now push women to look perfect, some companies portray this “perfect” image and it's so damaging. The saddest part is they too have probably been taught the wrong image of “perfect”. Someone needs to break the chain.
The beauty industry players a role here, a big one and something has to change. Soon.
Many people are afraid to show who they really are in the fear of being mocked, judged and misinterpreted. The world is a scary place. People's opinions no longer have boundaries. People don't realise the consequences of their actions. We have been led to think it's safer to remain hidden.
I've always put attention into the ingredients in my makeup and I am currently studying skin and acne diploma to always gain further knowledge and understanding.
I used to spray about ten coats of about three different hair sprays on my face to get my makeup to stay. It would last about ten hours without moving. It was so damaging and used to irritate my asthma but I was so scared of my real skin being shown to others. BUT NOT ANYMORE!
Bekki is 27 years old and from Bath, Sommerset, UK. She is currently a Nurse and a blogger in her free time that shows her journey.
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@yours_sincerely_acne (My Acne Journey)
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The main thing is, its okay to have acne. Its normal, its hard and its painful but you will get through it. You can be beautiful and have acne and it will never define you.
I have had acne since I was 9, I went on Roaccutane a few years ago which worked but at the start of this year my acne started to come back. Someone close to me had started struggling with their skin too. After seeing them get frustrated with how their skin looked I had the sudden realisation of how many years I had hidden my skin for, I decided I would no longer do that.
I have accomplished so many things despite having acne and I couldn’t be bothered to keep hiding and being ashamed!...
I am a very strong feminist so I want to make sure everyone is confident to be themselves unashamedly.
I think its only natural to want to hide behind make up and face filters. The need to do it is from a combination of social medias unattainable beauty standards, the beauty industry's fixation on ‘flawless’ skin and also how society works - women should be pretty.
I refuse to be defined by how I look. You can be beautiful and have acne, you are not defined by your skin and nothing should hold you back from doing what you want! We idolise celebrities and beautiful people, people who look like they have it all and are perfect.
There’s a quote I love, ‘nothing kills creativity like comparison’. I spent years comparing myself to celebrities and people in magazines, I could just see ‘ugly’ in my skin. Since I’ve actively tried to stop comparing myself to others, I have learnt to love myself, appreciate my achievements and enjoy my life so much more!
I don’t think there is anything wrong with it as long as you know it is not real and it is not for everyday. I used to apply thick makeup every single day to the extent that I forgot what my actual face looked like! This meant when I saw my acne and scarring I was ashamed of it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with looking glamorous and flawless from time to time, you should always feel confident and I know when I wear make up it feels more glamorous.
I think it comes from a few places, mainly ourselves! Every woman I know puts so much pressure on herself to be perfect, constantly comparing herself to others. I think it comes from the society, for generations women have been the homemakers and kept up the perfect facade for their neighbours and husbands.
Now there is the pressure for women to ‘have it all’ and to balance a family, a career and look flawless at the same time! Its only recently people have started talking openly about mental health, feeling stressed and being honest about their lives. I hope with this change people will allow themselves to just be happy!
To me, women can do whatever they like, whether it is for a like or not. If it makes them feel good they should do it! But I do think ‘likes’ create a negative culture of comparison. I’m guilty of it still but trying to stop, its hard not to compare things like likes when its all you see on social media!
Goodness this is a very long story! I will keep it short but I first started getting acne when I was 9. I really strongly remember boys in my class commenting on the ‘bumps on my forehead’, people stare at me in the street when I have no makeup on, people ask why i don’t fix my skin, ask if i’ve tried certain products. Having acne is very hard, it's draining and I’ve cried so much about it. The hardest thing has always been others' comments making me feel ugly and insecure.
As I was so young when my acne started I believed others comments and I felt so low about my appearance. I’m also midsize and wear glasses, totally the opposite to what is considered ‘beautiful’ by society. I was embarrassed about how I looked. I have tried so many different things to get rid of my skin and nothing worked until I took Roaccutane when I was 17. It worked amazingly and gave me so much confidence. That was the first time in my life I felt pretty and I felt confident.
My biggest fear once my acne went away was if it came back. I always have had small hormonal break outs and every time I would be petrified my acne would come back. It did at the start of 2020 and I’m actually grateful I got acne again. Its been long and its been hard but my acne makes me me!
It’s given me the opportunity to learn how to love myself and spread positivity to others which is the most amazing thing! I am not necessarily beautiful by society's standards but I am beautiful to me and that's all that matters now!
It surprises people sometimes but I love make up! I think its a great way to express yourself creatively but also its time we spend pampering and looking after ourselves. My problem with make up, is its easy to forget what you actually look like!
I didn’t realise it was normal to have pores which is crazy to think now! As long as you know the flawless, poreless skin isnt real, make up is amazing and should be enjoyed. I love wearing it to put in a bit of extra effort sometimes too.
You are what I call a Rulebreaker Isabella, #wearerulebreakers when you step up against the status quo. I’m sure it’s been a hard journey to where you are today.
The main thing is, its okay to have acne. Its normal, its hard and its painful but you will get through it. You can be beautiful and have acne. It will never define you.
Thank you so much for your openness. You are a POWER WOMAN Isabella, I admire you.
Go follow Isabella
I'm glad Bekki shared her story with me. Many women have been through similar or even worse experiences. They are reserved to share their story. I believe Bekki is incredible at sharing her journey. I hope she inspires you, so you do not feel alone.
Women like us, of all ages, who have sensitive skin, bad breakouts or acne, who have gone or goes through a hell of a life. I hope to inspire you. You are not alone. Makeup can feel different on your skin, natural and you don't need to keep hiding your face.
#WEARERULEBREAKERS. Want to know what lights me up? Helping women harness the power to take control of their lives. Do share your story with me. You might inspire other women, to come forward. Together we make change.
( I do reply my emails - shocker).